Years ago, as the creative director of an ad
agency, I had lunch often. It was, and still is, something I hate
to do.
First, I can’t talk and eat at the same time.
(I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time either, but
that’s another matter.) I try to find things on the menu that would not crumble
in my hands or drip down my chin.
Second, the person who talks the least is also the
one able to eat the most lunch. Because I was usually trying
to persuade my luncheon companion, I talked the most and ate the least.
But my biggest problem with "doing lunch" is it
can take two or three hours out of your day. You could close two deals
at that time, if you’d just have a meeting instead of "doing lunch."
A long time ago, I was in a group of authors and cartoonists
which everyone (except its members) called The Liar’s Club. The group
had been meeting in downtown Sarasota, Florida for thirty years
when I was invited to join.
The club’s most prominent former member
was the late novelist, John. D. McDonald. When I joined, the
current members were Joseph Hayes, Tim Kantor, and Robert
Plunket, along with popular cartoonists Dik Browne, Chris
Brown and Ralph Smith.
I was invited into the group primarily, I
think, because of my remarkable ability to lose as the
game of liar’s poker, played with the digits on dollar bills. Appropriately,
liar’s poker is the game of choice each time the club members do lunch.
Our weekly get-togethers serve no good business purpose. We
are not doing lunch; we are just having lunch as a convivial
break before and after we do work.
I didn’t manage to attend every Friday because I was
writing my second novel, Extreme Close-up, which ended up selling most of my mystery novels.
However, six months without showing up, I would be
taken off the roster. So, I tried to show up at least every six
weeks because, if I am dropped from the roster, I’ll have to go through Hell
Week again.
"Hell Week" is being forced to do lunch every
day for a week with a financial planner, an insurance salesman
and the Pastor of the Church of the Almighty Lord (COAL).
Copyright 2023 Lary Crews
