HEALTH MOVIE (1980)

I first met Robert Altman, director of hit movies like MASH, at a press conference he held in Houston for Brewster McCloud, a lesser-known movie. Our paths were to cross again eight years later when he came to the Gulf Coast of Florida where I’d moved.

Filming started on Health, a comic movie about a health food conference in 1979. Great cast: Lauren Bacall, Carol Burnett, Glenda Jackson, and Dick Cavett. 

Also, a gorgeous setting, the historic Don CeSar Hotel on St. Pete Beach. It’s known as the “Pink Palace” built during the Jazz Age.

I was hired as the chief production assistant, and one of my jobs was typing up the script on an electric typewriter. As I worked in the Penthouse Production Office, Altman said, “Hey, Lary. Got someone I want you to meet.”

I turned, expecting the best boy. Instead, a small woman with a kind smile shook my hand and said, “Hi. I’m Carol.”

Yes. It was. Carol Burnett, comedian, actress, and star. We talked for a half-hour, and she was as nice as a neighbor.

Another day, Bob gave me a bottle of California Petite Sirah, a note, and said, “Deliver this to Glenda Jackson in Suite 4D. She'll ask you in. She’s cool.”

Oscar-winning actress, Glenda Jackson. I tried to stay calm as I tapped on her door. “Bob said he’d send you,” she said. “C’mon in.” She wore a black blouse, rich, red slacks, and bare feet. She put the bottle on a glass-topped table, opened the note, read it, and laughed. “Bob said I can wear trousers throughout the shoot.”

I looked bewildered.

She explained, “I hate my legs, especially on screen.”

One of my other duties was to provide security for Dick Cavett as he ran on the beach for exercise. His only instructions to me were, “If a mob of teenage girls starts to surround me,” he said, with his impeccable timing, “Let them.”

Health was directed by Robert Altman in early 1979. It was the director's last film for the 20th Century-Fox studio, which shelved its official release for over two years. Despite this, it received festival shows and a brief Los Angeles run during 1980.

President Ronald Reagan and his wife screened the film at Camp David one rainy day. He said, “We watched the world’s worst movie. It was called “Health.”