Some of us don’t know how to dicker, bargain,
deal, and barter. We spend our lives paying more than the
wheeler-dealers do for everything we buy. I could be the
president of the Non-Negotiations Association, if only I could make a
good deal on a meeting room.
It’s a good thing I’ve seldom traveled to a foreign
country where they expect you to barter for goods. They’d have
seen me coming. In fact, there are natives of Nassau in the Bahamas
who still tell the story of the stupid American who bought that 50-cent
straw hat for $25. Yes. It was me.
In my own defense, let me say I’m a product of my childhood
environment. I’m just one of those easy-going guys, trained from youth
to “be nice” and not argue.
If a craftsman tells me, “It took me five weeks
to make this clay pot, and my shack needs a new layer of mud.
I can’t let you have the pot for less than $25 American.” I smiled
sympathetically, handed him $25, and offered him $10 for his mud.
I’m a real sucker.
Union people are supposed to be good at
negotiating, and when I was employed as a news director at a radio station our
news department joined a union and went on strike. Who’d they
appoint as a member of the negotiating committee? You guessed it. Mister
“Sounds-Okay-To-Me.”
There I was, sitting across from the big-time management
attorneys, cowering in the shadow of a cigar-chomping union man who kept
calling me “Terry.” I tried to be noticeably quiet so no one would expect me
to negotiate. The strike went on for six weeks. At the end, the management
types said, “We’re firing 6 of your employees, but we are keeping you on as program
director with a $100 bump and we’re changing the format to Southern
Gospel music.”
Deep inside, I’ve always been afraid of offending
someone by offering them less than what they’re asking for a
product. Besides, I see things in black and white, not gray. It’s all clear
to me. When you buy a box of corn doodles in a grocery store the price
is $2.99. The price tag doesn’t say, “Make me an offer.” It doesn’t say “Somewhere
between $1.99 and $4.99.” It’s $2.99 and that’s that.
I’m just not capable of making a deal.
Copyright 2023 Lary Crews
